Beauty Disappearance
by KevIsTehAwesomeness
Summary: The Doctor parks awkwardly in Fountain Lakes just as Epponae is about to win her fifth beauty pageant. But things go terribly wrong when she goes missing.


It was a beautiful Summerday in Fountain Lakes, Victoria, Australia. Kath Day-Knight was getting ready to take her five year old granddaughter, Epponae-Rae, to a beauty pageant along with Epponae's mother, and Kath's daughter, Kim Craig and Kim's friend, Sharon.

"Hurry up, Mum!" Kath heard heard her daughter calling her from outside, "We can't afford to be late!"

"I'm coming, Kim," Kath said as she came out of the house, "Keep your cotton tail on"

"It's this old age. I swear, honestly, Mum, sometimes you're slower than Sharon" Kim told her mother.

"Oh, well, that's not noice, Kim," Kath scolded her daughter, turning to Sharon, "She doesn't mean that, Sharon"

"Uh. Yes. I do," Kim stated, "C'mon, get in the car"

Kath and Sharon got in the back seats of Kim's bright pink car, with Epponae in between them. Kim got in the drivers seatand started upthe car.

"Epponae's fifth beauty pageant win,here we come!" Kim said, slowly reversing out of the driveway.

Kath was putting Epponae's seatbelt on when she noticed something. She cupped Epponae's face in her hands.

"Kimmy, dear, you don't think you may have put a tad too much lipstick on Epponae?" Kath asked her daughter.

"No, Mum, I know what I'm doing" Kim retaliated, looking at Kath through the rearvision mirror.

"No, but look, it goes over the sides of her mouth, wouldn't you agree, Sharon?" Kath stated, "Here, I'll get a tissue"

"Shut up, Mum, what are you doing?!" Kim said, "Mummy knows best, right, Epps?"

Sharon looked from daughter to mother. Then she noticed something.

"Uh, Kim..." Sharon started.

"Not now, Sharon, I'm discussing important business" Kim told her friend.

"No, but Kim, you're going to crash into a phone box!" Sharon screamed.

"Don't be daft, Sharon, there's never been a phone box on this street before" Kim stated.

Kath finished wiping Epponae's mouth and looked behind them, gasping.

"No,she's right, Kim, stop the car!" Kath yelled.

The car came to a halt just inches away from the dark blue police telephone box Sharon was talking about. The four of them got out of the car, walking up to it.

"Oh, for Christ's sake!" Kim exclaimed.

Just then, a man in a pinstripe suit with a long brown trenchcoat and a ginger haired woman stepped out. The man looked at the gapbetween the car and the phone box.

"Ooh, sorry" He said.

"Oh, no need to be sorry," Kath stated, "We were the ones who weren't paying attention and almost crashed into it"

"It's a funny thing, but," Kim said, "I don't remember a telephone box being there before"

"Oh, it just finished being constructed last night!" The man said.

"How strange, I never received any council letters about it" Kath recalled.

"Oh, they must have skipped you for some reason," The man said, "We certainly got one"

"I'll have to find out about that..." Kath trailed.

"Anyway, this is Donna and I'm The Doctor" The man introduced themselves.

"Pleased to meet you," Kath said, "I'm Kath, this is Sharon, my daughter Kim and my granddaughter, Epponae-Rae"

"We're off to get Epponae's fifth beauty pageant ribbon," Kim said, "But we can't get anywhere with that ugly thing in the way"

"You put your daughter in _beauty pageants_?!" Donna remarked.

"Yes, you got a problem with that?!" Kim stuck her nose up at Donna.

"No, not at all" Donna said sarcastically with a glare.

"Relax, Kim, I'll call us a cab" Sharon said, getting out her mobile phone.

"And I think I've got enough for a fare here" Kath stated, fiddling through her purse.

"Allow me to pay for it," The Doctor said, "It's the least I can do"

"Better make it a maxi, Sharon" Kath said, closing her purse.

The taxi arrived and the newly-found friends got in. On the drive to the theater, they decided to find out more about each other.

"Doctor who exactly?" Kim asked The Doctor.

"Just The Doctor" The Doctor replied.

"And what are you a Doctor in?" Kath asked.

"Everything, I suppose," The Doctor answered, "A bit of this, a bit of that"

"And what about you, Donna?" Sharon asked.

"I'm a temp" Donna replied.

Kim snickered at this as Donna gave her a mean glare.

"And are you two married?" Kath asked.

The Doctor and Donna looked at each other and back at the friends.

"No, no, no, just friends, best friends, but that's all, nothing more" They said in unison as the taxi arrived at the theater.

They all walked into the theater, parents of every age were gathered around. Kath and Kim headed towards a door with Epponae.

"Just find some seats with Sharon, we'll be out in a few ticks" Kath told Donna and The Doctor.

The Doctor and Donna followed closely behind Sharon.

"This is sick," Donna whisped to The Doctor, looking around, "Why'd you offer to pay for their taxi?!"

"Technically, it was my fault," The Doctor whispered back, "I had to do something"

"Why can't you learn to park properly?!" Donna whispered.

"Noicely done, you've found some seats" Kath stated, walking over with Kim as everyone took a seat.

"Get ready to see Epponae in action" Kim said.

The curtains raised to show ten little girls on a stage, Epponae among them.

"Would you look at that girl in the middle?" Kim pointed to one of them, "She looks like a mouldy potato"

The announcer introduced each girl but as soon as she announced that Epponae had already won four ribbons, the theater's lights went out and the stage's right curtains lit ablaze. Every parent and child ran out of the theater. The Doctor and Donna ran up to the curtains, followed by Kath, Kim and Sharon. The Doctor knelt down and got out his sonic screwdriver, pointing it at the flames.

"They're fake" The Doctor said.

"But why?" asked Donna.

"A set up," The Doctor replied, "A distraction, if you will. Not sure why, though"

"Epponae, come to Mummy! Epponae! Epponae-Rae! EPPS! EPPONAE!" They heard Kim yelling.

Sharon ran to the light switch an switched them on to reveal an empty theater. And no sign of Epponae.

"Epponae's gone missing!" Kim screamed.

The Doctor then had a thought and ran up to Kim.

"Kim, what did you say the girl in the centre looked like?!" He asked her.

"A mouldy potato, what does it matter?!" Kim answered, starting to weep and taking a tissue off Kath.

The Doctor turned to Donna, "I don't know why, but I know who!"

The two of them began running out of the theater, only to be stopped by Kim.

"Oi, where are you going?!" Kim managed through sobs.

"I need to get back to your street" The Doctor said.

"Well, we have to go and let Brett and Kel know," Kath said, "Call us another maxi, Sharon"

When the taxi arrived back outside their house in Fountain Lakes, Kath started running into the driveway and The Doctor and Donna ran for the TARDIS.

"What are you doing?!" Kim asked them.

"Nothing you need to know," The Doctor replied, "But rest assured, we will get your daughter back"

"How can I be sure I can trust you?! I'm coming with you!" Kim said, walking to the TARDIS.

Kath turned around, hearing this and running for Kim, "Kimmy, it could be dangerous!"

"Mrs. D, Kim, you're both too young to die!" Sharon yelled, pushing the two of them, along with herself, into the TARDIS.

Their eyes widened. Sharon gasped.

"Woah, it's so big" she said.

"First time you'll say that to someone, Sharon" Kim said.

"What kind of a Doctor did you say you were?" Sharon asked,walking up to The Doctor.

"No kind, that's just what I'm called," The Doctor replied, "I'm actually a Time Lord. I travel through time and space"

"So, is this like your little spaceship?" Kath asked.

"Basically, yeah" The Doctor answered.

"Wait, you can move this thing?!" Kim asked, "And you let us take a cabto the theater?!..Stingy bastard."

"OI!" Donna screamed, stmping up to Kim.

She looked Kim straight in the face.

"Listen here, Missy Diva, let me tell you something," Donna steamed, "One, no one, and I mean _**NO ONE**_, speaks to The Doctor like that, he's a marvelous man who may be a bit too skinny and B, I'm getting sick of your witty insulting remarks about everything you see!"

"Oh yeah?!" Kim retaliated, "Well, deal with it, ranga!"

"What did you just call me?!" Donna screamed.

"RANGA!" Kim bit back, "Ranga ranga ranga ranga ranga"

"You're going to be sorry you said that, hornbag!" Donna belted.

"Bring it, bitch!" Kim spit in Donna's face.

"Oh, it is on!" Donna returned the spit.

Suddenly, Kath was in front of the two of them. She held up her hands like a T.

"Time out, girls, time out" Kath said sternly.

Kim and Donna stopped arguing and looked away from Kath.

"Look at moi," Kath said, "Look at moi. _Kim, Donna, look at moi_. _**Both of you, look at moi, ploise**_"

Kim and Donna instantly turned their heads to look at Kath.

"I've got one word to say to youse," Kath said, " Tolerate. If we're going to get Epponae back, we need to learn to tolerate each other. Even if the other may be irritating. Understood?"

"Yes, Mum" Kim said.

"Yes, Kath" Donna said.

"Good" Kath said.

"Alright, we're here" The Doctor said, walking over to the three of them with Sharon.

"Where was here again, Doctor?" Sharon asked, swooning.

"Well, like I told you the past four times, Sharon, the Sontaran ship. You know, the ugly potato aliens" The Doctor said, pointng to Kim.

"Mouldy" Kim corrected him.

"Same thing, let's go" The Doctor said as they exited the TARDIS...

Only to be held at gunpoint by a Sontaran.

"Intruders!" Said the Sontaran/

"Well, actually, we're not," The Doctor said, tilting his head as they all held their hands up, "You see, Commander..."

"Egaad" The Sontaran replied.

"Egaad," The Doctor repeated, "We're just here for a girl"

"We need them all, sir, I'm afraid" Commander Egaad told them.

"Look, Commander Egghead, we only want the girl you just kidnapped from the Atheneum theater in Melbourne, Australia!" Kim said, frustratingly.

"Australia..." Commander Egaad tried recalling.

"Earth, dimbrain!" Kim and Donna said in unison.

"We don't keep records of where we take them from" Commander Egaad said sternly.

"Mummy!" They heard a trembling voice beside them.

Everyone of the friends turned their heads to the side to see Epponae being dragged away by two Sontarans.

"EPPONAE!" Kim shouted, "Don't worry, Mummy's coming!"

She glared at Commander Egaad menacingly. Kath noticed this look. She knew it all too well.

"There's one thing you potato aliens should know" Kath told the Commander.

"And what's that, Ma'am?" Commander Egaad asked.

"You should never get between a foxy lady and her daughter" Kath answered, shaking her head.

"Do you remember when we took karate together, Sharon?" Kim asked her best friend.

"Of course I do, Kim, I'll remember all our moments together forever!" Sharon replied.

"Well, it's time to put those moves to the test!" Kim yelled.

"No, ladies, violence is-" The Doctor started but it was too late.

Kim had already knocked Commander Egaad out and Sharon had his gun. The Doctor put his face in his hand and sighed.

"Why do I even try?" He said, as Donna put her hands on his shoulders, raising her eyebrows.

Kim and Sharon chased after the two Sontarans who had Epponae.

"HEY, POTATOHEADS!" Kim screamed when they finally reached them.

The Sontarans turned around, pointing their guns at the two friends. Sharon pointed the gun she had as she and Kim high-kicked the Sontarans' guns out of their hands. They then proceeded to triple punch each of them in their stomach. Kim picked Epponae up as the Sontarans fell to the ground.

"C'mon, Epps!" She said as she ran back through the halls.

"I actually don't know how to use this, sorry" Sharon said, throwing the gun down next to the unconscious Sontarans.

She ran after Kim. They both arrived and ran into the TARDIS. The TARDIS dematerialised from the ship and materialised outside the Fountain Lakes house. Kath, Kim, Epponae and Sharon walked out. The Doctor and Donna stood in the doors.

"Thanks for saving, Epponae" Kath said.

"Oh, it wasn't me," The Doctor said, "It was all Kim and Sharon"

"You took us there and knew who it was that kidnapped her, you deserve credit too" Kath replied.

"Where will you go now, Doctor?" Sharon asked.

"Back," The Doctor said, "To save the other girls"

"Told you he's marvelous" Donna said, looking at Kim.

Kim rolled her eyes at this and stuck her tongue out at Donna.

"And you, Little Epponae," Donna continued, "Always stay with your mother...or grandmother"

"I will" Epponae said, smiling.

"Will I ever see you again, Doctor?" Sharon said, starting to cry as Kath handed her some tissues.

"Maybe," The Doctor answered, "Who knows?"

And with that, the TARDIS dematerialised from the street in Fountain Lakes.

"Kel, sweet cheeks!" Kath said as she noticed her husband walk out of the house.

"I thought I heard you girls," Kel said, "How was the pageant?"

"Get real, Dad," Kim said as she took Epponae into the house, "Like I'd put Epponae in a pageant this time of year"


End file.
